How do we raise good children

What do you do when your child does something that not only shocks the life out of you but turns out to be something totally unexpected like the Reverend’s child who turns out to be the village drunk? I read the story of the minister’s son who committed suicide with the pain and shock that comes with such tragedy. I was even more alarmed when the minister came forth and blamed his son’s death on himself. As a parent no one can claim to be totally immune to such an incidence and although we all mean well for our children, I was thumbs up for the minister albeit too late. So you wonder when the slip began and whether it could have been avoided. You think of your children that you love so much and subconsciously wrap your arms around them wanting to protect them from any such tragedy. I listened to a veteran parent sharing recently and her talk revolved about the dilemma of expecting children to behave right without having a total change of heart. This shocked me because it has always appeared like her children had all that it took to be the best groomed children around. She pointed out that although we all set out to raise responsible, all rounded and academically sound children, many times we find they couldn’t be further from our expectations. So what is a mother like me supposed to do, I asked myself. She further challenged us to reflect on the children we are raising without any semblance of endurance or resilience as we constantly solve all our children’s problems. Many don’t know how to serve but believe that they can only wash dishes at home if they are going to be paid an allowance for it. Can you imagine that? If the TV were switched off for two days, would the children fall apart as that is a constant addiction? It became clear that in a bid to get the children off our tired backs, many of us had created pas times for our children which can well be the cause of their downfall.